I got a new teaching gig for November 29th.  The only one outside of School of the Bible this year that I've done since the summer.  Let us hope things go better than they did last time.  This new opportunity doesn't involve a whole church service, but rather a 45 minute-ish discussion that goes by the name of Sunday school.  

We've been going to a new church here in Tyler and have plugged into a few areas.  One of which has been a Sunday school class called Merge, because it was a merge of the 20 something class and the 30 something class.  Last week I got a call from the normal teacher asking me if I would like to teach on the 29th.  At first I didn't want to because that's my first response to anything, let alone public speaking, but I know I need to take any teaching opportunity possible to grow in that area.  So I agreed to teach, which is only going to be leading discussion.

Faith is what I'll be talking about.  What is the difference between the blind faith that many attribute to Christians and the faith spoken of in the Bible?  I'm sure there is a major difference and we'll find out together.

Divine foreknowledge and conditional prophecy is my next teaching in School of the Bible.  That's a heavy topic and I should be studying it this week, but I've taken the 'vacation' approach instead.  

One praise report I have is that Thanksgiving is next week and I haven't been asked to be the token Indian in any play or school program, nor have I been approached to partake in a 'reconciliation' ceremony.  Amen.

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So far anyway.  I haven't done much except watch some football and go for a walk with my wife.  I decided to not work on Monday's teaching today, instead seeking a day of rest.  

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We have 13 students from six different countries.

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The first week has come and gone.  We’ve been systematically going through Larry’s book, A Time To Understand, this week and onto the next.  The book focuses primarily on apologetics and worldview stuff, so we’ve had great talks with the students about our (human beings) inherent value and how we need to live according to our God given design.

My first teaching in the SOTB was this week.  I taught on the three ways people try to define moral standards outside of the Bible.  The three ways are Hedonism (Moral Relativism), Majority Consensus, and the Social Elite.  In two weeks we’ll be covering Hermeneutics, which will be my teaching track.  That means that I’m in charge of working with Larry to get the teaching and homework schedules set up as well as print out their notepacks.

This year has already been extremely busy and I don’t see any let up in the near future.  Please pray for both Megan and I as we do our best to work hard and help our students, of varying ages, come to a better understanding of God and how He works.

Steve.

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I have a whole day of teaching next week on self-government and the Bible.  A whole day means three and a half hours.  That's a long time for me to stand in front of people and have things to say. But I can do it. We're also getting more applications in for the next school year and I need to figure out Visa's for foreigners.  As of now I know nothing and need to know what to send people. In all, this week I'm busy. Just thought I'd write something to clear my head.

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In January of 09, instead of returning to Multnomah Bible college, I joined Youth With A Mission once more. I joined School of the Bible staff and so far I'm loving it.  Being here for two months has been good as God’s been pushing me to doing things that I would normally hesitate to or wouldn’t take up at all.  Already I've given four teachings (Consequences of Sin, Saving Faith, a reading of Charles Finney's conversion, and Establishment in the Life of Sanctification) and I’ve been learning how the admissions department works as I’ll be taking over the role come next year.  God's placed me somewhere where I thrive.  Somewhere where I can get experience and walk out the desires of Gods heart that He has shared with me.  It hasn’t been too easy for me learning right away how to prepare a teaching and to give the teaching in ways that are understandable, but God’s hand has been on me the whole time I’ve been here. I’ve felt able to discuss more openly the goal God has given me and have told various people here in YWAM Tyler.  All have been interested in it so far, and maybe eventually I’ll be able to share with YWAM Tyler staff as a whole about the ministry. All in all, it seems God has taken me off a path of aiming for my goals and given me new direction that partners with his heart, and it’s not a bad thing.  I may have gotten everything I wanted at Multnomah, but attending the school for the reasons I was going there would have benefitted me nothing in the long run.  Maybe God saved me from a life that I would have hated.  I life where I would appear to be doing everything right and working in ministry, but at the heart level wouldn’t be connected with God.  There’s a strong possibility that God was still actively seeking my heart.  That he was patiently working with me and moving me to a place of obedience that has a better outcome than my own plans. I would love to finish my degree at some point in the future and attend another bible college.  At least this time I may be doing it for God instead of myself.

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Part of that anger was most likely brought out by fasting, but that was fine.  It seems that God was purifying me, helping me to get rid of hidden anger that corrupted me.    Another reason for the anger was that I didn't like the classroom teachings, but that was only because I joined IHOP for the prayer aspects, not to learn a new set of theological ideas.  I'd been through two years of YWAM schools and some bible college and could have cared less about learning new ideas.  I wanted to experience prayer, and I did. God met me exceedingly and abundantly more than I expected.  He also changed my course of life. With a month left in the internship, I started getting a desire to return to YWAM.  More specifically, I felt God was placing on heart that I should return to staff with the School of the Bible in Tyler TX.  I had done the school in the 2003/04 year, and left with good theological knowledge but not wanting to return to Youth With A Mission again. 

Thinking back on things, I can see that fear kept me from wanting to get back in with YWAM.  Fear of living “by faith” and on the support of other people.  I’ve never been interested in living like that, yet God was calling me to it. Before I made any effort in trying to contact SOTB leadership about possibly joining staff, I told God I was going to take a week to ask him everyday if that was what he wanted for me.  I asked God several times a day if staffing School of the Bible was what he wanted, and after that week, I was positive I had received three confirmations that it was on God’s heart.  The first confirmation came from my mom.  In talking with her on the phone that week, she had begun to tell me what God spoke to her that he would do for me in my time at IHOP.  The first thing God said was that he was going to give me a love for prayer. 

By this time my anger issues were being released from me and I had started actually enjoying IHOP even though I had never really reached a “nirvana” stage in prayer.  Secondly, God said he would give me a love for fasting which he did.  Honestly.  While in IHOP I participated in a prolonged time of fasting.  Something I never expected that I would do or could do.  Before IHOP I couldn’t fast a day.  During IHOP I was fasting a lot.  At the end of the fast I swore I would never do that again, yet a couple weeks later Lou Engle called another fast and I was on board.  I don’t know how, but God gave me a love for fasting.  The last thing God was going to do for me at IHOP was give me direction for what I was going to do next.  I took that as confirmation one that SOTB was on God’s radar for my life. A couple days later the fear of living off support started nagging at me and doubt started settling in.  I prayed that if God was calling me to YWAM, he would have to help me. 

I even stumbled on a scripture verse about raising support, which I can’t remember right now.  But I do remember praying that verse several times that night and the next.  Then one night, a friend and fellow intern told me God was telling him to give me something.  So he placed in my hand some money, which happened to be the amount that staff fees in YWAM cost.  All this happened after I started praying about finances so I took this as confirmation number two. Finally, the next night (and last night of my week of petitioning God) I received my final confirmation.  This time it was God speaking to me.  God loved me that night.  He helped tear away the fear that was keeping me from going into missions and told me (not in an audible voice but it was real) that SOTB was the next step.  That week blew me away, and I knew then that God was leading me. (I guess there's going to be a third part tomorrow.)

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We drove to Texas all day Friday, taking around 13 hours to finally get to the Dayspring campus around 8:30 p.m. local time.  The drive was nice and sunny with temperatures in the upper 7o's all day.  Then Saturday the temp was even higher.  We barbecued and I wore flip flops. I've entered my full time staffing job with YWAM and I have no idea what to do next.  I moved into the guys dorm (School of the Bible students) and that was sort of tough, for the only reason that I have no where to put my things, of which there are many. 

Though with the new fact that Megan and I are getting married soon, we will need separate housing on campus and I may have a better chance at moving into an apartment or trailer earlier rather than later. Today, Sunday, is cold and dreary and a little lonely though that's how I normally feel in a new(ish) place the first weekend or so.  I do have the upper hand against lonliness a bit since I've spent a year here around four years ago and have gotten to know a lot of people in all of YWAM Tyler that I never kept in touch with.  The biggest thing is that I have Megan here.  That saves me from getting too bored or lonley. Monday I don't know what I have to do.  I'm just going to show up in class at 7:30 and see what happens. 

I am excited to be back in YWAM, but I have those "fear of the unknown" jitters even though I have a good idea on how things are going to go and what I'm going to do.  It's just doubt and fear I guess, something I have to pray about.  One thing I do know for sure, is that this is the start of ministry for me.  A start to being a leader rather than a student or intern.  This is my start into public ministry that's directly relatable to what I feel God wants for Megan and I in the future, and it's scary. 

But I know I'll get more praying done here than I did at home, and get more studying and teaching experience. This is also the time for me to grow up.  To start buying clothes that fit and look nice and are relatively expensive.  To get married and start a family, and of course to start working towards a tangible reality in the mission I've been given.  I don't know if YWAM Tyler will send me out or if I'll have to do something on my own, but I am willing to start the ministry at least and hopefully work hard at it until I can't anymore.  I'll write more on my ministry vision some other day. Today, I have to find a place for all my crap.

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